Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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