I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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