it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
