either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
