So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
