allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
