dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
