Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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