No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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