shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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