remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
