PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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