No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
