The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
