so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize