I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
