let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
