am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize