She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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