You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
