We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
