the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
