I heard we made out
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
