youre lurking in front of me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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