my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
