chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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