rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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