My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
