Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
