there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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