i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
