absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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