Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
whose parrot is this?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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