Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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