I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's blow job season.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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