I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
