I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
