he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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