Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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