Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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