ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You pole danced in your parka.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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