Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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