either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
