hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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