I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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