Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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