More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Your tits are I can't wait for
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
