It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
