with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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