We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
