if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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