You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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