did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
