She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
