Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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