well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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