Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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