You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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