the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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