Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
