it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
