Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
